Wednesday, March 4, 2009

A Weird Quandry is 'Love Thy Neighbor'

Okay so I've spoken before about the cuckoo next door with the ducks and rooster, the kids who wander the streets after 11pm bouncing basketballs and yelling around the block to one another and of course about the good neighbors, the one's you enjoying seeing, spending time with, etc. 
When the good Lord laid down the Big Laws he spoke of many things, all rather bad, depending on whether or not you were interested in a peaceful and happy afterlife and not spending it on Satan's BBQ spit.
One of these here, 'laws', Golden Rules if you will, was 'Love thy Neighbor'. Now if you are indeed a Supreme Being this is quite easy. Especially if said Supreme Being did not know my neighbors. Well, he 'knows' them but he doesn't have to live near them. Here are a couple of examples of why I'm vexed on this....
~~We had quite a snowstorm the other day and when there was about a foot on the ground I decided to shovel at least the sidewalk, because by law, you must. Since it was still snowing I wasn't going to attempt the driveway. So I shoveled and cleared my part of the sidewalk and went in. Mags had made us some soup for lunch and I got up for a drink and noticed a young lad shoveling the end of my driveway. I squinted to see out and it was Steven, our neighbors son. He is about ten, I think, and I turned to Mags and told her what he was up to. I bundled up and went out there. When I arrived his mother was walking towards me with a shovel of her own. I insisted that they need not do this, whilst I was very grateful. She said to me "You nor your wife are in any condition to do this. " I started to protest but she continued "We're neighbors, we're helping you out." Great right? Before I move on from this incident I must say her husband Kenny is a Plumber/HVAC guy and on more than one occasion has helped us with our heating/ac problems for next to nothing. Usually for free.
~~The wing-nut next door with her yard full of barnyard animals. She had a rooster at one point and this little bastard would crow at the first hint of daylight, usually before 6am. Her kids are another story. They are now in the 'Lacrosse' stage and are often standing in the road flinging that rock-hard ball around by the cars. The very worse thing is if you say anything to her, she'll cry discrimination or harassment because she is not an American.
~~When the motor in our A/C unit blew, Jeff around the bend, who owns a store for such things told us he could get us a motor. He told us next day he had to order it from out of state. When it arrived he told us we only owed him what it cost him. He even paid for the shipping. The aforementioned Kenny installed it for nothing. 
~~A neighbor, who I actually really like, starts his truck up every morning at 6am. What's wrong with that say you? Well, the truck is one of those massive 2 tons with the extenda-cab. You know the big construction site kinda things. Although it is brand new. Now here's the thing. He for some reason had a ahem 'High-performance' exhaust system put on. It is LOUD. It shakes the windows in our house and wakes up everyone within in a four or five house radius. He then lets it run for up to 40 minutes. (good thing gas is so cheap.) 
~~Any time our neighbors across the way are going to sit out back they invite us over. they are in a pretty bad financial state but they always offer us a drink/snack and when our birthdays come around we always get a card from them. Last year I was ailing form something, down and out really, and they came over with a get-well gift. A Guinness hat/tshirt combo pack. Nice right?
~~The kids here are usually okay but on occasion they will gather in the road and blast their car stereos and when I say blast, I mean blast. The car was once thirty feet away and the pictures on my wall were shaking. They will stand in the road talking and yelling until after midnight sometimes. This is okay with their parents because at least 'they know where their kids are.'
So as you can see, 'Love thy Neighbor' is a precarious thing. 


Madam Z said...

Connor, as soon as I am done leaving my comment, I am going to go outside and thank every one of my neighbors for being so much less annoying than your neighbors!

BTW, I love your post about the neighbor's rooster. Your writing is so entertaining.

Connor said...

I made sure to put in stuff about the god neighbors because they outweigh the bad ones. But the bad ones..well...grrrr.

Jud said...

-I understand about the truck. Our neighbor's kid has one nearly identical, and it's a diesel, so we get smell-o-rama as well.

- I love the dogs that want to hang out on my deck. I don't feed them. I'm not mean to them, but not overly friendly.

- Windblown trash from the trash cans with no lids. Love it!

- I have good neighbors, too. Did a key swap with 2 sets of neighbors, and my Ol' Brown truck is available for us for runs to Home Depot, the dump, etc.