Thursday, June 18, 2009

Sweet Jaysus You People Are Kooky

I am speaking not of the Octomom, the Mormon cultists in Utah or wherever those freaks live, but the wing-nuts at PETA. All the panties at PETA are in a twist over our the 'brutal slaying' of an innocent fly by our President, Barack O'Bama. (He is Irish). Our man 'B' was trying to conduct an interview on CNBC when the pesky little bugger starting swooping and 'buzzing' him. The President kindly asked it to stop and then, when the little camera-hog persisted on trying to fly up our leaders nose, he crushed him like the RedSox beating the Yankees.
Really. I'm serious...PETA sent him a letter and a paper you guys.
What really, umm, bugged PETA was the fact that 'B' showed no remorse over the killing and even hi-fived the camera man, screaming "I got you you little prick!", before grabbing the poor flys wee carcas in a tissue and stomping it in time to "Another one bites the dust."
PETA has also sent the Prez a few,.. oh God I cannot believe these people are allowed to breath my air, special bug traps. Yes bug traps. They safely trap naughty little pests like gnats, mosquitos, flys and earwigs, then you can ( gently) carry the traps to an outdoor locale and release them back into the wild. Honestly?
PETA is also demanding the flys be fed for the duration of it's captivity, or, they will be marching on the White House demanding the 'prisoner fly' be fed and provided clean drinknig water for all of it's 15 day long life span. When the significant cost of housing (that will be passed onto the tax-payer) and feeding a fly for that time was pointed out to PETA, the response was quick. "It is a living thing. Look, we can build homeless shelters and levies in Louisiana or we can help the flies. The choice is obvious."

Meanwhile, CNN has an exclusive report on a note found at a New Jersey dung heap where the murdered flies cousin 'Joey' was living, it was written in a hurry and was barely legible but went something like this...
"Mr. prezident, I saw you kill my couzin, boy am I mad! You think the people at PETA are mad just you wait 'til I get there you are in troubl..."

When other flies dining in said dung heap were questioned the reply was simple. "Yeah he was pisssssed..but he was 14 days old....poor guy didn't live long enough to finish the buzz etc..."


Jud said...

Pretty dang funny, Connor!

Nelle said...

LMAO but Peta does have some great vegetarian receipes!