Monday, June 1, 2009

If You Keep Giving Her Attention, She'll Never Go Away


Here we go again. The uber-fertile crack-pot they call the "OctoMom" is apparently due to have her own reality show. Honestly? Did the network head honchos have a meeting and decide there just isn't enough shit on t.v. already?
"Say Wilson..what are we gonna do for the fall sweeps?"
"How 'bout a reality show?"
"About who?"
" I dunno..maybe like that guy from Murphy Brown..the painter..."
"Dead."
"They wrote him out of the show?"
"No he's really dead you horses-ass"
"Oh...." reaches for his Prozac...
"Got it!! How about that Angelina Jolie look-alike? The girl with the big lips, 22 kids and the uterus you could park a Suburban in?!"
"Crap on toast you're a genius!"
That sound you just heard was 85% of Americans slapping their open palm against their foreheads and going "d'oh!"
Tell me you're kidding please....
Aren't we sick to death of this woman? She is apparently as crazy as I am short but her dopey mug is all over the television. 14 kids? That's like a baseball team and a full freakin' bullpen. And are we to believe her and big ol' Dr. Phil are just 'friends'? (winkwinknudgenudge) She's been on his show about 87 times in the last 5 months. He's helping her. Hmmph.
The season may open with what's -her-face at the doctor discussing yet another invitro-fertilization. She will say that she plans to keep going until one of the following happens, a) she produces enough children to form her own army, at which point she will try to overthrow the government of Seychelles b). Her state-funded aid bankrupts the state of California or c) Her uterus falls out and she rents it to the highest bidder for an indoor practice facility for kids soccer. Quality t.v. no matter what. Am I right?
She has plans, so I'm told to trademark the name "OctoMom" and she is looking to put the "Octonut" name on a brand of diapers. Honest.
Also told that she has passed on an offer from Vivid prodcutions. They make the naughty movies. We'll see....once kid number 42 comes along she may start hurting for cash.

2 comments:

Jud said...

I suppose she is a magnet for attention, from supporters to the many detractors. I suppose the networks is banking on both watching, with the old motto that any press is good press.

Rob said...

And I just realized when I did that post I myself was giving her attention...d'oh! Oh well...