An Open Letter to our President

Good Afternoon Mr. President,

I'm hoping all is well with you and the family. First off congrats on your new job and your new digs. I mean how cool is it living in the White House? Your own bowling alley? Seriously?? You are da' man! Is there a bar in that bowling alley? If so, I'll send along my address and maybe I'll come throw a few frames with ya'. I'm awful so you should have an easy go of it. I'm certainly not going to play hoops with you..whew that would be ugly. 

Anyways, back to the congratulations. You ran a great campaign and in my honest opinion, you're the right guy for the job. What a great time in the history of our country eh? The first African-American President. After the decades of struggle, harassment and plain outright cruelty directed at the African-American people this is a pretty awesome feat. All the years of struggle..from the gross injustice of slavery, to the struggles and the fight of folks like the brave Medgar Evers,  the brilliant Dr Martin Luther King, and the tiny in stature but feisty in spirit Rosa Parks and the countless others, this is truly monumental event. 

I can never truly understand what this was like because I am white. I'm Irish so that means I'm about as white as they come. But I studied history and I've seen the news. You should be super-proud of yourself.

I, like many Americans who can reason and use logic understand that our country is a mess. I feel that while I know you'll do a great job, you've really got your work cut out for yourself. You came on at a really bad time. It cannot be fixed in 5 months, 8 months, it may take more than a year. To use a hockey metaphor, I equate you with the back-up goalie whose coach sticks him between the pipes early in the third when his team is already down by four goals and expects you to save the day.

I'm hoping that everyone in the country, from the average citizen to the highest form of government will work with you and give you the time and support that you need to get your job done. Let's face it a lot of people want you to fail simply because of the color of your skin. They will piss and moan at every chance they get, at every bill that doesn't pass...every opportunity and between us, these people suck. They suck like a nine dollar vacuum cleaner. Ignorance is an ugly thing.  

I know it won't be easy but you must ignore these pinheads and plod on. I'm excited to see what you come up with to get us back on the right track. I am, sadly, amongst the swelling ranks of folks who have lost their jobs. I always took pride in the fact that I worked hard every day to provide for Mags and Meself. It's tough being supported by the missus, watching her go off to work everyday will I stay home with the boys. (Okay, the first week was pretty nice.) It's hard on my wife because of her many health issues, I know it is, but I'm hoping something good will happen for us soon. 

I know you came up in a single parent household and you guys (you and your Mom) didn't have it easy financially. I can relate to that. I had both parents at home, but there was six of us and money was always tight, as it is now. I feel that is oneof the things that will really help you. The majority of this country is struggling. We can't relate to someone who grew up with money, in a privileged lifestyle. We all know what it's like to watch our pennies. And as the economy continues to nosedive, more and more of us are in that boat. 

I'm hoping there won't be any more big money bail-outs for these companies whose executives spend more on a rug than I make in a year. Why would anyone give these morons money?

As far as the smoking thing goes, I never tried it ( I hear it stunts your growth) but I know people who have tried to quit it isn't easy. If reporters kept mentioning it, why don't you just tell them to feck off? Oh, wait...maybe you shouldn't do that. Never mind.

I'm excited about the stimulus plan and if I promise not to tell anyone could you possibly get me mine a little sooner that, ya know, anyone else?....please...?

In closing I'd like to wish you all the best. 

P.S. Look, maybe you should cut Michelle's mom her check first, really, I don't want to cause any trouble for ya big guy.