Thursday, January 22, 2009

Raising A Bunch of Wusses

Okay. Like I said earlier I just got back from the frozen tundra of Rhode Island. I was sitting at table having tea with Mims when the conversation turned to the cold. My mother peered over the paper and said so very matter-of-factly "Oh yeah. It was so cold they cancelled school."
"What? Are you freakin' kidding me?"
"Well Connor, it was very cold."
I thought on this for a bit. "Ma, I walked to junior high in this weather (the school department deemed us too close and wouldn't send a bus) and school was like... a mile away! What, they don't heat the schools any more?" This got me going. When I was in high-school, we came from blocks around to gather at the bus stop and wait for the school bus. And yeah, it was fuckin' cold. (we just grabbed a steel garbage barrel from the basket ball court and built a fire) It's New England people! It gets cold in the winter!! School here has been cancelled because of cold recently but I just chalked that up to the New Jersey school kids being spoiled little pricks. I mean the busses here pick you up at your door practically. My tax dollars hard at work. And I think last year it was "the books are too heavy.."  Whaaaaa?
Cold canceling school? Books too heavy? What's next? "Ooh it's raining...We don't want you guys to possibly get your 298 dollar Uggs/Nikes wet." 
"Too windy, oh that will surely muss your hair."
We're raising a country of wusses. Can you see us at war in like seven years when these guys are out of school? Huddled in the desert, weapons at the ready..somewhere in a cave a SAT phone rings and President Obama asks the latest Crazy-Ass Terror cell leader of the moment if he could possibly hold off on the war until the sand storm ends because, well..our boys don't want to get grit in their teeth or hair. 
Sweet Fancy Moses.....

1 comment:

Madam Z said...

This is great! Very funny and well written.

I couldn't agree more about the "wussification" of our kids. But don't blame the kids. It's the candy-ass adults who are doing the damage. Here, in SE Pennsylvania, they cancel RECESS when it's cold outside. The poor kids are so antsy and want to go out and play, but noooooo! They might get cold! So they're crammed into the auditorium, with some dumbass word games or something, and then when they're back in the classroom, they're so fidgety and restless that they can't concentrate on their lessons.

It's frightening to contemplate the war scenario you predict.